Did you just find out that your partner may be pregnant?
This may be overwhelming news, but you’re not alone. As a man facing an unplanned pregnancy, it can be difficult to know where to start in order to support her. Know that you have an important role in helping both your partner and your child. To start off, there are some key steps you can take to support her.
Encourage her! If you feel scared or nervous, know that she probably does, too. Both you and she are strong enough to get through this. Constantly reassure her of the fact that she is strong and can do this. Reaffirm your commitment to helping her through the pregnancy by actively being there for her.
Schedule an appointment.
Schedule an appointment at a Pregnancy Center for a free pregnancy test and go with her to the appointment. You may be sitting in a waiting room (depending on the center), but she will know you support her by being there. While she may have taken a home test, it is helpful to get a clinical pregnancy test to verify. Find A Local Pregnancy Center
Seek out counseling.
Many Pregnancy Centers have counselors to help you through different struggles, concerns, and desires as a man. It can be helpful to talk through the process you’re undergoing and better prepare yourself to help her throughout her own process. Don’t feel like you have to shoulder everything by yourself because you don’t. Find a Local Counselor
Take advantage of resources! Pregnancy Centers and other organizations have free diapers, maternity clothes, baby furniture, and more! These wonderful groups exist to help you and her navigate this new adventure. Connect with them and see what they have available for you so that you can best prepare and make her as ready as possible for the adventure ahead! Find Local Resources
Take the time to learn the basics of pregnancy and child development, infant care, nutrition, bonding/attachment, toddler care, safety, etc. Take it one topic at a time. The efforts you take to learn will not only help you, but it will show her you truly care. Learn More
How to Feel Heard
In this new adventure, you will want to feel heard. Here are some tips!
Be a Good Listener.
You are both in this together. Listen to what she needs and take her seriously. If she never feels heard, do not expect her to hear you. Listening is the most powerful thing you can do.
She wants to know more than anything that you will help support her. This pregnancy will seem impossible for her if she feels no one is there for her. At the very least, you need to be there for her and show her you care.
Speak your mind in love.
Communicate how you feel. Open and clear communication is vital. She can’t know what’s on your mind if you don’t tell her. Make sure you do this lovingly, however; don’t treat her poorly in the name of communication.
Don't Be Afraid
Finally, do not be afraid! You have a say in this! She wants to know how you feel, so don’t go silent simply because you’re nervous or scared she won’t understand. You both have a say in everything along the way!
She had an Abortion, Now What?
Undergoing an abortion is painful, both for her and you. There is a lot going on emotionally and mentally for you to seek help for. Know there is After Abortion counseling and care for both you and her.
Fatherhood Forever recognizes that men are also deeply affected by abortion. The loss of their child can elicit emotions and reactions that men are not always comfortable talking about with others. This website shares real stories of men who have gone through this experience. This site also identifies and explains the role of fathers and the impact of abortion.
SaveOne recognizes that whether your past abortion experience happened because you forced it, paid for it, or begged her not to have it, the pain years later is the same. Each abortion is a loss of fatherhood that is hard to recover. SaveOne recognizes and understands your pain and is available to help, not judge, so that you can find healing.
Father No More
Father No More identifies the steps that a man should take in order to grieve and heal from the loss of their child. Whether the man was involved in the decision or not, each father will need time and patience to heal from this experience.