Miscarriage: Facts and Resources

About 10-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. This can be a very emotional experience for a woman and her partner, and it is important to recognize the genuine pain and loss of this experience (no matter how early in the pregnancy this may have occurred).

If you have undergone a miscarriage, please know that this is not your fault. Sadness and confusion are natural responses to this loss, and there are resources to support your healing. We encourage you to check out these resources:

What is MiscarriAge?

Contact your health provider immediately if you are experiencing any of the signs of miscarriage.

Please remember that most miscarriages are naturally occurring. We encourage you to talk to your doctor about ways to stay healthy and safe during your pregnancy.

Please note: Miscarriage is not the same as an abortion (explained here).

YOUR RIGHTS DURING MISCARRIAGE

The following rights are outlined by Elizabeth Ministry International in the post, “Your Rights During Miscarriage.”

  • You have the right to another ultrasound to confirm beyond any doubt that your baby has passed.
  • You have the right to request a copy of the picture.
  • You have the right to hold a funeral for your baby.
  • If your baby is miscarried in a hospital, either naturally or via a D&C, state laws vary on your right to recover your baby's remains. See your state law HERE or contact Heaven's Gain Ministries for guidance ([email protected] or 513-888-4200).
  • You have the right to ask to be tested for progesterone levels and an immediate prescription for supplements if there is a chance it could save your baby.
  • You have the right to know all the short-term and long-term risks of a D&C procedure. For some women, a D&C may be the smartest option. But women deserve to know that it has the risk of causing infertility or compromising a future pregnancy, weakening the cervix resulting in a future premature birth, or complicating a future birth because of scar tissue.
  • You have the right to refuse a vaginal exam. If the baby is still alive, it can increase the risk of a membrane rupture and preterm labor, compromising the life of the baby. They also carry the risk of infection to the mother.
  • You have the right to have the father, a doula, and/or other support person present during any medical exams or treatment.
  • You have the right to hold your baby’s body and not be rushed.
  • You have the right to choose some sort of pain relief.
  • You have the right to take personal time from work.
  • You have the right to say no.
  • You have the right to choose to do nothing.
  • You have the right to opt to deliver the baby’s body at home (safety varies based on gestational age).
  • You have the right to ask questions.
  • You have the right to trust your instincts.
  • You have the right to not have any concerns dismissed.
  • You have the right to be treated with respect and dignity and at any point you have the right to change providers or ask for a new staff member.
  • You have the right to name your baby, grieve your baby, and talk (or not) about your baby.

 If you are a student enrolled in an educational program that receives federal funding for Title 9, you cannot be discriminated against for suffering this loss. If you need time to medically recover from your miscarriage, you may be allowed excused absences or certain accommodations. Students can ask your school’s Title IX Coordinator if any rights and accommodations are allowed for your situation.

                                      Coping with the Grief of Loss

                                      Women and their partners are emotionally impacted by a miscarriage, and each may cope with the loss in a different way. You may feel sad, shocked, overwhelmed, angry, guilty, or any number of emotions. Your grief may also make you feel physically exhausted, irritable, distracted, etc. Know that you are not alone in this experience. We recognize that your pain and loss are real. Your baby was significant. You deserve to be cared for as you heal.

                                      BabyCentre offers 8 suggestions as you recover:

                                      • Accept your feelings, whatever they are
                                      • Give yourself time
                                      • Take time off (from work or school)
                                      • Understand that your partner may not grieve in the same way
                                      • Be prepared for difficulties in your relationship and communicate as best as you can
                                      • Talk to other people
                                      • Understand why some friends and colleagues may stay away
                                      • Get support
                                      For more details on these suggestions, please go to: Understanding Grief After a Loss

                                      Perinatal Hospice: A Compassionate and Caring Option

                                      Perinatal hospice affirms the dignity of a miscarried baby and is a compassionate and caring option for families looking to honor and grieve for their child’s life.

                                      Perinatal palliative care programs allow parents to meet their child and to fully grieve their loss. This care is fully encompassing, providing a compassionate explanation of the diagnosis, walking the parents through the emotionally strenuous pregnancy process, and counseling the parents through the grieving processes beyond the loss of the child.

                                      The Perinatal Hospice and Palliative Care website has a database of perinatal hospices in every state as well as internationally, making it easier for parents to get the care and arrangements they need.

                                      Miscarriage Resources